It’s still a bit strange to be living with my parents. The line between family and simply being a boarder is very foggy.

Like a boarder, my schedule is not tied to theirs except for using the bathroom, washing clothes, or pulling the car in for the night (we can’t park on the street unless we tell the police first, else they’ll give a ticket). My room is my own to do as I please, as is the corner of the basement I’ve carved out for myself. My meal schedule is different during the week, and I have my own cupboard space so I can eat what I want.

And yet, I’m still family. My mom and I go shopping together at Kohls and Boston Store. She bought me Puffs and made real, homemade chicken & rice soup when I got a cold last weekend. I have undertaken the extended task of organizing my dad’s workbench in the basement (since I’m taking up some of the space, and I just had plenty of practice organizing myself for my move). And I’m going through boxes of my old things, mostly middle school or earlier, giving away toys and tossing junk.

To top it off, I’m sort of a resident in two places now, since my condo hasn’t sold yet. Until it does, I don’t think it will feel as though that chapter of my life is over.

I am still applying to web design jobs. While I want income, I find myself hoping that I can make that income via stained glass and jewelry, and not in an office job. Maybe I’ve just been out of work too long, and now I value having my own schedule and dress code.

My art-a-day project is officially on hold, particularly since I’m going to be concentrating my creative efforts on stained glass.

So anyway, I’ve come to realize that I shouldn’t continue to think of my new circumstances as abnormal. It’s different than the last ten years have been, but this is just my life right now.

Buyer’s Price: $0.99
Shipping Credit: $3.99
Amazon Commission: $-2.49
Your Earnings: $2.49

How is it possible for Amazon to take a commission larger than the sale price?

I looked at the fine print, and here it is:

Amazon collects fees only when your item sells. At that time, Amazon collects your sales price and shipping costs from the buyer, deducts a commission of 6 to 15 percent of the sales price, a per-transaction fee of $0.99, and a variable closing fee.

For books, that variable closing fee is $1.35.

If you’re a Pro Merchant, the $0.99 transaction fee is waived. Even so, Amazon really doesn’t make it easy for people to profit from low-priced items. It seems really unfair for Amazon to cut into your shipping allowance, though.

I knew Amazon’s commission was higher than, say, Half.com, but I didn’t realize they do it with fees which allow Amazon’s profit to be equal to or greater than yours.

Oh well. Live and learn.

This isn’t the first time I’ve thought about this. It’s also not the first time I’ve tried to approach the question carefully, logically and prayerfully.

But I must admit that I’ve never really planned out where I’d like to be in 5 or 10 years, like life coaches tell you to do. The farthest I really look in advance is about three years.

I know some folks will say this is a failing. I’ve come to think of it at either the blessing or burden of being a creative person.

What I like to do

Sure, I enjoy web design. But I also would be just as satisfied if my day job involved making jewelry. I’ve already tried my hand in a stained glass workshop, and I’d do that again in a heartbeat. In fact, I’d like to set up a small workshop for myself so I can cut, grind and assemble glass art.

I spoke on the phone yesterday with someone who was responding to a resume I submitted. He asked what my next ideal job would be. My answer described what my next ideal Web job would be.

And that got me to thinking about where I should focus my energy. Do I focus on HTML and CSS, adding to my knowledge about coding great design? Do I lean further to the psychology side of things and teach myself more principles of usability, human-computer interaction, and user experience? Do I build up my graphic web design side, delving deeper into Photoshop and seriously learning Flash?

And yet, these aren’t my only options. These are just the web-related options. I’ve saved job ads for jewelry artists and photographers, too. I want to try selling my own creations and see if people like them. I’ve even tossed around the idea of boarding with my folks for a short while so I can focus on one of these things for 4-6 weeks and see if I can’t make a go of it as an artist.

This doesn’t even touch on my love of music or my simmering urge to go back to college to further develop the sheer mechanics of drawing and painting.

Back to the beginning?

All this rambling just brings me back to my original thought: Where do I go next?

And, most importantly, where does God want me next?

All these ideas and decisions are weighted with the overarching presence and plan of my Lover and Father. Really, the most important thing is not where I want to go or what I want to do, but whether God has directed me into one path or another.

Even as I once again carefully consider all my options, I am asking God to point me to my next gig. The paths available are still numerous, but to take one against His direction — or, to take one before He tells me where to go — will never satisfy me or fulfill my desires.

Does this take faith? Yes. And my faith has been confirmed in the past when God has arranged circumstances to put me in a particular place — a city, a home, even a dorm room. I have had a small taste of what more experienced Christians tell me: sometimes the road God points you to makes no sense, or what seemed like the perfect opportunity is suddenly barred, but God is true to His promise not to harm us.

Does it take prayer? Yes. And I know that I need to develop discipline here. Prayer is not telling God what I want or begging Him for it. I could launch into another whole post about prayer, so let me just say that I need the discipline to listen to God regularly.

Anyway, I’m starting to hit the freelance world. I have one website lined up thanks to my ex-boss from the university, and I sent off my stuff to two other places looking for freelance designers. If these aren’t enough to keep me in the black for a while, I may also apply for a part-time job at a portrait studio in the mall. I know a couple that are hiring seasonal help.

In other news, I need to replace my thermostat. I discovered this when my heat stopped heating. Yeah, bummer. I tested the A/C and it didn’t cool either, so I’m pretty sure that means the problem is in the thermostat. I did some research online for the thermostat I currently have (Simple Comfort 2200), and found next to nothing except for a couple of people who replaced it with something else because they thought the Simple Comfort was really cheap. LOL I still feel fairly well equipped to speak intelligently about it when I head to Lowe’s or Ace tomorrow (okay, technically later today). Thankfully, I’m somewhat insulated because of where my condo is in the building, but I’d rather get this fixed sooner and not wait to freeze later.

AND– God provides. I received a check from Countrywide for escrow overage.   More than enough to pick up a programmable thermostat. I could get a better price on Amazon or somewhere else online, but I’d rather be able to talk to someone in a hardware store.

And in case the time stamp on this post doesn’t clue you in, I’ve become really nocturnal. I can’t help it. I look at the clock and am surprised to find it’s 2:30-3:00 a.m. because I’m on a roll. And then I nap at some point in the day, which only perpetuates the cycle. Ah well.