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I had a gut feeling yesterday that this was going to happen, exactly like the gut feeling I had a couple of weeks before Ferguson let me go.

I’m not freaking out. I’ve been down this road before, and God has taken very good care of me over the last 14 months. I’m bummed, certainly; no one likes losing their job.

But to be honest, things weren’t working out like I had hoped and expected. I was clear to the owner when she interviewed me that I really wanted to learn the business, and that I have design, branding, marketing, communications, and web experience that I thought I could use for her company’s benefit.

I knew that I would be starting in the shop, working from the ground up, as it were. So I’ve been ready, willing and able to mud and clean windows, sweep, trace patterns, and perform whatever tasks I was asked to do. This even included helping move and connect their computers, since this is a new location for them.

The personalities are interesting and varied, and none really interfered with me. Some people just like things a certain way; that’s how they are. When they get bent out of shape, it doesn’t change me. It might change how I interact with them, but I’m not responsible for their quirks or obsessions.

I didn’t learn as much as I wanted simply because people were very busy, but the instruction I did get was well done. Clear, not patronizing. And with an assumption that I will take responsibility to do it right. I like that.

I liked a lot of things about the job, maybe because it was such a change from my corporate gig: clear feedback (either it’s right or you make it right); concrete progress and successes; wearing what you please as long as it doesn’t interfere with work; focusing on the job and results and not playing politics.

However, after working there for a couple of weeks and getting the chance to chat with the other fulltime people, I had the distinct impression that I would probably be kept in the shop much longer than I would like. In fact, since they hired a designer/admin person who has turned out to be a kind of “mini me” of the owner, I have begun doubting that I would be pulled into the rest of the business at all.

The reason I was given for being let go is “cash flow.” A big job they’re waiting on has not come through as quickly as planned, and they don’t need and can’t afford to keep me. I know that there are a lot of contracts coming down the pipe, but that doesn’t help if the cash isn’t there to pay me now. It’s partly the nature of the business: you get payouts upon completion of a contract, so the flow is not steady. Plus, if they need part-timers, the owner’s son and his best friend are readily available and able to be on “stand-by.”

The plusses of this experience have been the satisfaction of the work, the things I’ve learned about glass and leading, gettting way outside my normal routine of being a “desk jockey,” and of course, having a job at all. Whether it was the environment or simply the change from my career path, I feel more confident about pursuing my own ideas in stained glass jewelry. I can do this. All I need is discipline.

I don’t know where I’ll go from here. The door is wide open again as far as job type and location. I may end up as a web designer again, which is not a bad thing. After leaving the corporate world, I found that my creativity with web stuff and the desire to work with it has come back. I had hardly even noticed how much it had been quashed while I was corporate, but I certainly noticed when it started to rise again. I am just not cut out to be a cog in the corporate machine.

My parents will be arriving in town this weekend for a week-long visit. I’m very excited to see them. And frankly, I’m sort of glad that I’ll have the whole week free to spend with them. Previously, I thought I would only be able to take Monday off. With the job ending, I’m full of free time again.

Now I just have to straighten up the house so everyone has a place to sleep. LOL!

Eventually, updates and photos of Caleb will be at CaringBridge, the hospital-provided webpages. There are only 2 journal entries so far and no one has had time to update it since, but I know there were some photos taken this weekend, so an update should be coming soon.