A Dragon in Sheep’s Clothing

Being unemployed, I’ve been putting thought into my career, job goals, and long-term plans. Again.

This isn’t the first time I’ve thought about this. It’s also not the first time I’ve tried to approach the question carefully, logically and prayerfully.

But I must admit that I’ve never really planned out where I’d like to be in 5 or 10 years, like life coaches tell you to do. The farthest I really look in advance is about three years.

I know some folks will say this is a failing. I’ve come to think of it at either the blessing or burden of being a creative person.

What I like to do

Sure, I enjoy web design. But I also would be just as satisfied if my day job involved making jewelry. I’ve already tried my hand in a stained glass workshop, and I’d do that again in a heartbeat. In fact, I’d like to set up a small workshop for myself so I can cut, grind and assemble glass art.

I spoke on the phone yesterday with someone who was responding to a resume I submitted. He asked what my next ideal job would be. My answer described what my next ideal Web job would be.

And that got me to thinking about where I should focus my energy. Do I focus on HTML and CSS, adding to my knowledge about coding great design? Do I lean further to the psychology side of things and teach myself more principles of usability, human-computer interaction, and user experience? Do I build up my graphic web design side, delving deeper into Photoshop and seriously learning Flash?

And yet, these aren’t my only options. These are just the web-related options. I’ve saved job ads for jewelry artists and photographers, too. I want to try selling my own creations and see if people like them. I’ve even tossed around the idea of boarding with my folks for a short while so I can focus on one of these things for 4-6 weeks and see if I can’t make a go of it as an artist.

This doesn’t even touch on my love of music or my simmering urge to go back to college to further develop the sheer mechanics of drawing and painting.

Back to the beginning?

All this rambling just brings me back to my original thought: Where do I go next?

And, most importantly, where does God want me next?

All these ideas and decisions are weighted with the overarching presence and plan of my Lover and Father. Really, the most important thing is not where I want to go or what I want to do, but whether God has directed me into one path or another.

Even as I once again carefully consider all my options, I am asking God to point me to my next gig. The paths available are still numerous, but to take one against His direction — or, to take one before He tells me where to go — will never satisfy me or fulfill my desires.

Does this take faith? Yes. And my faith has been confirmed in the past when God has arranged circumstances to put me in a particular place — a city, a home, even a dorm room. I have had a small taste of what more experienced Christians tell me: sometimes the road God points you to makes no sense, or what seemed like the perfect opportunity is suddenly barred, but God is true to His promise not to harm us.

Does it take prayer? Yes. And I know that I need to develop discipline here. Prayer is not telling God what I want or begging Him for it. I could launch into another whole post about prayer, so let me just say that I need the discipline to listen to God regularly.